


I Put the Feeling of Fear Behind Me

by Feline_Acrobat



Series: We Can Walk Forward Without Fear, You and I (BTXT College AU) [5]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Panic Attacks, Protective Choi Yeonjun, Soft Choi Soobin, also wes is in this!, but its ok, hyuka and the gays sounds like a band name oml, i love hyuka and the gays, soobin has anxiety like real bad, soobin is a gentle giant, soobin is anxious and says something that makes yeonjun :(, the others are only there for a bit but theyre baby ok, theyre both very gay ok, wes is now in hyuka and the gays, yeonjun is small and filled with rage, yeonjun punches a homophobe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:09:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feline_Acrobat/pseuds/Feline_Acrobat
Summary: Soobin just wanted to have lunch with his boys, but some guy makes that a bit more difficult. Yeonjun deals with it, but Soobin is conflicted.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: We Can Walk Forward Without Fear, You and I (BTXT College AU) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2147877
Kudos: 35





	I Put the Feeling of Fear Behind Me

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to have soft yeonbin times. This was supposed to be longer with more just soft boys but it quickly became major hurt comfort and they deserve better. I swear I will give them the love they deserve but you don't fight the inspiration. I'm sorry, Soobin cries, it hurts me too.

Soobin would like to be anywhere but here, thank you very much.

He and Yeonjun, his beautiful, stunning, amazing boyfriend Yeonjun, were just walking to have lunch with their boys, holding each other's pinkies, that's it, the contact was so minimal, Soobin liked it that way in public, disliked making a scene. But it wasn't enough apparently. Or maybe this person was just angry and thought they would be an easy target. He didn't know but he wanted to leave. The man was yelling, Soobin hated yelling, he hated it more when it was directed at him.

“Fuckin queers should fuck off out of polite society! I’ll teach you sissys a lesson”

The man rolls up his sleeves and Soobin is hardly breathing, the man is staring at him, walking towards him, he doesn't want to be there, but Yeonjun still has his pinky held captive, and he was too frozen in fear to do anything anyways. He braced himself for a punch, but it never came.

Soobin's eyes opened and he noticed Yeonjun had released his hand. He was standing in front of him now, and the man had stumbled back, holding his nose and groaning. He couldn't see the expression on Yeonjun's face but he could guess it wasn't something he wanted to ever be on the receiving end of.

“Nobody. And I mean fucking nobody, dares hurt my boyfriend. If you want to test me I will gladly show you why”

The guy straightened up again and lunged at Yeonjun. If Soobin wasn't paralyzed, he would've taken Yeonjun and run. Instead, Yeonjun dropped him. Soobin barely saw it, Yeonjun had always moved smoothly, fluidly. One second the man had thrown a punch, the next Yeonjun had the man's fist in his own, and the next, Yeonjun was on top of him, throwing punch after punch. It startled Soobin enough that he could move, swiftly wrapping an arm around Yeonjun’s waist, and pulling him off, backing away from the now incapacitated man, rushing away from the scene, hoping beyond hope that no one had seen what had happened.

Yeonjun went without a fuss, when Soobin set him down again he simply took Soobin's hand and let himself be dragged away, somewhat hazily. By the time that they got to their destination, the cafe on campus, Soobin had calmed slightly, and Yeonjun was far more aware again. They walked in, and sat across from Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Wes, and next to Hyuka.

“It's about time you guys showed up! What was the hold up?”

“Uh well-”

“I got busy punching a homophobe”

Soobin let out a shaky laugh and the other 4 stared at Yeonjun. They exchanged glances and nodded. Typical Yeonjun, if they're being honest. Wes however, new to the group, looked Yeonjun over.

“Are you ok hyung?”

Yeonjun blinked. Lifts up his hands, looking at them, grimacing slightly at where his skin broke. He took a napkin and wiped off the small amount of blood that had collected and nodded.

“Yeah I'm fine. He didn't land anything. He almost punched Soobin in the jaw though”

Beomgyu and Taehyun both started cooing over Soobin, both concerned for their hyung. Soobin however, shook his head.

“You're too reckless hyung”

“Nobody hurts my bunny”

Soobin blushed, and the topic changed. They spoke animatedly with each other, it was the only time during the week that they could ever hang out, when their schedules were all open. This was their hour or so, they wouldn’t all have free time again til Saturday, it was familiar, and normal now, they all needed this time to get through the rest of the week.

Yeonjun’s hand was snugly in Soobin's under the table, comfortably laying on Yeonjun’s thigh, and he squeezed it occasionally, their way of communicating, and Yeonjun always squeezed back. Soobin wasn't looking forward to the conversation they would have to have later, confrontation was uncomfortable, but until they were back at his house he didn't have to worry too much. So he focused, desperately focused on the moment. Smiled as his best friend dramatically flopped over his own boyfriend, giggled as Kai poked at his cheeks, trying to get his dimples to pop up again, playfully slapped Taehyun when he did a mocking impression of him, happy to be with his friends.

~

Soon enough they parted ways, Wes, Hyuka, and Taehyun heading off to class, and Beomgyu going off to work. He and Yeonjun walked to his place after saying goodbyes, to-go cups of coffee in hand, and the energy was getting tense, and god, Soobin hated this, he just wanted to hold his boyfriend, his perfect angel of a boyfriend, in his arms and forget about the world. But Yeonjun’s hands were occupied, one with his coffee, the other in his pocket, and Yeonjun wasn't smiling, he wasn't frowning either, but it made him anxious, he knew he fucked up. The two walked in silence the whole way, and Soobin anxiously fiddled with the popsocket on his phone in his pocket.

They got to Soobin’s house and when they walked in the tension boiled over. Yeonjun curled up away from Soobin on the couch before speaking, staring intently at his coffee cup. Soobin longed for his small frame to be curled up in his lap, it's what was supposed to happen, but they were doing this instead and he hated this, god damn it.

“I’m reckless?”

“Junnie I-”

“No hold on. You said I was reckless. I was protecting you, what did you expect me to do, let the mother fucker break your jaw? It's not like you were dodging, what did you want from me Binnie?”

“I don't know”

“What do you mean you don't know? Please, help me understand what to do because I'm lost Bin. I don't, I don't want to make you anxious bun, I want you to feel safe and calm with me but I feel like all I ever manage to do is make it worse”

“I. You don't make me anxious Jun, I just. I don't know, I was scared, I don't even know why, I just, I don't know, I’m sorry, I don't know”

Yeonjun was looking at him the whole time he spoke, but Soobin couldn't. He couldn't handle whatever he was going to see there, the anger, the annoyance, the disappointment, the hurt, whatever it was, he couldn't bear it. He heard shuffling, and jumped when suddenly Yeonjun was next to him again. Hands gentle on his arm, sitting on his legs and there was sadness in his eyes, but there was also love, and he didn't know what to do with that either. Yeonjun wrapped his own arms around Soobin's. Soobin was struggling to find words, just heaving in deep breaths, as he realized his eyes were spilling over with tears.

“Bun. Bunny look at me please”

One of Yeonjun’s arms let go of him, going to Soobin's face, wiping the tears that are falling down his cheeks. The gentle loving gesture only has Soobin crying harder, pulling his face away, hiding in his hands and gasping for air. He tries to pull away from Yeonjun, getting caught up in his head, thoughts racing painfully fast, cruel, undeserving, worthless, et cetera, et cetera. But Yeonjun is still there, right next to him, not letting him fall on his own, standing there, a rope held out to him, all he has to do is take it.

Yeonjun gently takes his face and turns it towards him, a soft comforting smile on his lips. His hand wipes the tears again and again, and he leans in, places a soft barely there kiss on the tip of his nose, and then one on each of his cheeks, and Soobin nearly winces, he's sure he's disgusting looking right now, but then there's another kiss on his forehead, and one on the crown of his head, and one on his chin. And then he connects their lips. And Soobin isn't much help, still crying, and heaving breaths, but it doesn't matter to Yeonjun, Yeonjun who is reverential, who kisses Soobin like he matters, like he's important, and Soobin’s tears stop, his fears abated by the gentle gesture from the love of his life.

“Baby I love you. You're ok, I love you so much bunny boy, I promise you”

And Soobin can't keep looking Yeonjun in the eye, and Yeonjun lets him avert his eyes. He understands, he gets it, and Soobin is the luckiest man alive, to have someone so understanding in his life.

“I really am sorry Junnie, I don't know why I said that, I don't know why I panicked so much I trust you more than just about anyone, I was so scared you were gonna get hurt, I just called you reckless cuz I didn’t know how to say it, I don't want you to get hurt protecting me junebug, you shouldn't have to protect me, I’m sorry I’m such a coward”

“Baby no, you're not a coward bun, you're so brave baby, you're the braver of the two of us by a longshot. It's ok that you were scared bunny, it is. I'm sorry I worried you baby boy, I love you so much I just couldn't stand the way the fucker was talking to you baby, I’m sorry”

Yeonjun still had his hand on Soobin's cheek, and Soobin leaned into it, smiling at Yeonjun, who looked like he wasn't far from crying himself. Soobin covered Yeonjun’s hand, threading their fingers together, and moved it to place a kiss on Yeonjun’s palm. Yeonjun smiled back at him, a few tears escaping down his cheeks. Soobin lets go of his hand, gently wrapping his arms around Yeonjun’s waist, same as earlier, but this time he took the other and pulled him into his lap, holding him close, nuzzling into his shoulder. Yeonjun relaxes once Soobin is wrapped around him. The edge leaves, and he melts in Soobin's’ hold, mirroring him. He runs his hands through Soobin’s hair gently.

“There's my baby bunny boy”

Soobin preens at that, always filled with joy at being called Yeonjun’s, and its sappy and dumb but he loves it. He nudges Yeonjun back some, enough to look at his face, and kisses him. Yeonjun sighs happily.

They pull back and Yeonjun brushes the hair out of Soobin's face. His smile widens, it always does when he looks at Soobin. Soobin smiles back, and things are alright again, Soobin is glad, grateful that they’re still ok, if a little embarrassed at his panic attack. But it's ok, his junebug is there for him, he was gonna be alright.


End file.
